Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
When did angry sex become our thing?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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