Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize