i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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