Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
