Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
