I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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