I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
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