Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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