Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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