Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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