There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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