idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
