You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Fuck appropriateness.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
