What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
