I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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