so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
