wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
