We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
