We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
