When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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