I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
