i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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