Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
