Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize