it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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