But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
