Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
