No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
