Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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