If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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