how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
