Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
