i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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