He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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