She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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