I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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