Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
