there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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