I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
so let's talk penis.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
