Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
