Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
My pussy is not your playground.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
True strength comes from lack of pants
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
