She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize