it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Randomize
