I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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