like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
