So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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