Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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