so explain again why im purple
no
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
