Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
