i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
