A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
