whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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