Porn is love you can see.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
