I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
