Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
