tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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