he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
