The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
